False alarm

This week the fire alarm in my large, 40-story center city apartment building went off in the middle of the night for two consecutive nights. Each time the alarm sounded between 9 p.m. and 2:30 a.m. for approximately 30 minutes. Fortunately, these were false alarms. But you can imagine the panic I feel when I'm tucked in bed...nice and warm...and I hear, blaring from all ends of the apartment, "This is a fire emergency. Please proceed to the nearest exit."

When this happens, I have two options. One is to get up and start searching the my apartment for my cat, who then proceeds to hiss and claw at me while I try to get him into his carrier. After several attempts - and scratches - I usually am able to get him into the bag. At that point, I grab my keys and cell phone and quickly start walking down 33 flights of stairs to the bottom of the apartment building. This means that later, I will have the option of waiting downstairs for an elevator for an hour, or walking back up 33 flights of stairs (which is usually what I choose to do, since these alarms typically prevent me from making my gym run in the morning). My other option is to put in earplugs and pray that it's a false alarm, which was fortunately the case this week.
On top of having to climb up 33 flights of stairs (with the cat on my shoulder-this photo above is where I left him in the morning, and where he was when I returned from work 11 hours later) in the middle of the night twice this week, my internet connection in my apartment has been down, and my cable in my bedroom is not working. To make matters worse, two of the four elevators in the building have been broken for almost three weeks. This means that the average wait time for an elevator has increased from approximately 30 seconds to about five minutes. This delay doesn't sound like a big inconvenience, and I shouldn't complain - I live in a beautiful, safe luxury apartment in the center of town. Usually, I really do absolutely love living here. I know I will look back on these days in my life fondly, and not regret one minute of living in the building I've called home for almost three years.

But it's been a tough week.

So you can imagine my excitement the other day when, as I was entering my building, I heard the familiar chime of the elevator arriving in the lobby. Not letting my heavy laptop or my heels slow me down, I ran as quickly as I could (without looking ridiculous or falling) to try to catch the elevator. As the elevator doors slammed in my face, I saw my dishevelled reflection in the lobby mirrors. My post-vacation glow from a few weeks ago was definitely beginning to fade.

But what happened next is really where the problem comes in. I slumped into the sofa in the lobby and started searching through my pocketbook for my Blackberry and cell phone. G-d forbid I just sit for a minute...no, now I was determined to make the next five minutes the most productive five minutes I'd had all day. I checked the Blackberry. Then the cell phone. Then the Blackberry. I started thinking about all of the other elements of city life that I'm getting tired of - exhaust from city buses blowing in my face. Making do without a car by schlepping groceries in the freezing cold on my back. The fire alarms. The problems with Comcast. And now, the elevators.

I started thinking about how I should move to a lower floor, or move out of the city. I realized that I had a headache. I thought about how I should considering changing my evening news routine and start watching Rachel Maddow on MSNBC at 9 p.m., rather than Brian Williams at 6:30, since clearly I would be spending the rest of my winter evenings sitting in the lobby, waiting for the elevator.

And with this thought, the elevator came and I made it up to my apartment (in time for Brian Williams).

It's situations like this one that make me wish I had more control over my reactions to everyday situations. Fire alarms, slow walkers, loud cell phone talkers...sarcastic or snide remarks friends make and don't mean. Late trains, delayed airplanes, slow restaurant service. Are these things really so bad? At least it wasn't a real fire. Rittenhouse Square strollers can be slow, but the sidewalks and store fronts are beautiful. Delayed airplanes make flying frustrating, but usually they mean I'm on my way to visit a friend, or see colleagues who I rarely get to see. When service in a restaurant is slow, it can be frustrating, but isn't that how they do it in Europe? Shouldn't we slow down a bit anyway? In the long run, do these things really even matter?

The other day a friend passed along a theory her friend has about not taking things too seriously. "Be unaffected," she said. "Just think, I'm unaffected by this." His theory is to realize that "this" (whatever "this" is) is not really about you. I think this is a very powerful concept. If I could be unaffected by these things, I'd be happy...more patient...more relaxed. Imagine not caring if there's traffic - wouldn't that be great?

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to participate in a Mindfulness training session with one of the professors from the University of Pennsylvania's Stress Management program. During the session, the professor encouraged us to create space between an event and our reaction. Our bodies are programmed to respond to potentially harmful situations with a fight or flight response, so sometimes we need to remind them to slow down, and not launch into attack or avoidance mode so quickly. We are supposed to first stop and think about what happened, then take a breath, and then decide how we'd like to react. Practicing this gives us more control over our reactions, and helps us be more present. Basically, we need to let our bodies know that whatever is happening is a false alarm - it's not really a big deal, and therefor doesn't deserve a "big deal" response.

Of course, this takes practice, but I think there's no better time to start than now. There are such larger things happening. This week, we will have a new president. We will get closer to spring. We may make progress towards peace in Israel. We will see seven sunsets and seven sunrises...

Next time the elevator door closes in my face, or the fire alarm goes off, I will ask myself if it really matters - and will thank G-d that it's just a false alarm. And I will try my best to recognize that life is probably just trying to get me to slow down. I'll try to be thankful that I even have elevators, and a warm apartment...and a job to come home from, and friends and family to come home to. I'll try my best to remember what really matters - and that every day and every moment - even ones spent sitting on the sofa, waiting for a slow elevator - is a blessing.